replaced the lil misplaced red camera; as you can see new camera is lil g(reen).
returned home ~2wks ago and ta~da, lil red was unearthed. such a luxurey to have spilling forth the familiar red and the shiny new green….
having excess is typically what slaps me aside of the head when i return home from extended time away. really? do i really need 3 bikes, 10 knives, 3 stereo systems, stack o clothes, etcetcetc?
i got by just fine wearing clothes from the travel stack (i actually do have some clothes set aside for travel…they have the quality of being able to layer for ?able weather, roll and fit snug in a travel pack & who will get the prize for noticing o’er the years i’m still wearing the same clothes from antigua to manhattan?).
it has been straight up delightfilled riding my bike on the streets of chico these past 2 wks or so…; because most of the towns people are outta town? or because i’ll be leaving town and i am savoring the vistas an oddities that make chico home.
major road work in the downtown area…round abouts being installed, furthering the towering of the parking structure for chico state and just general stop the go flow when maneuvering around town….especially on a bike.
yet i look forward to seeing how 2 wks of daily looking and staring and wondering what the hell…what results, what changes will be seen when i spy those intersections again.
the big apple, the union captial and the sweet upstate vermont is where i will travel to and through. planning for the foursome has been a savory tedious detail mission that i signed up for, cuz i like that type of hype….
feels like i’ve walked the high line, been giddy seeing mermaid avenue and been held close while riding the staton island ferry in a thunderstorm….yet those are all the imaginable places we will go. being oohed and awed by grandness, and functionality & newness is something i’ve been slightly craving. here it comes. my next sunrise sunset will be from the reflection of taller than tall buildings….
who else will notice, and what is going on in their neighborhood daily that they wonder about.
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i had an anthropology class in college that used a book called “the human animal”. though the details of the class are vague, the essence msg that with all our thinking and micro planning, in the end we are creatures of habit, and respond intuitively & hence can survive in the world around us.
intuition is a funny critter, and this thread of writing is about relying on a soothing sense of intuition. without seeing someone, how do i know how they are? i recall watching my dad’s handwriting change (& completely stop) as parkinsons disease took a grip on his life. whenever i received a letter and the fluid loops and flows of letters had a wriggle of a wiggle, it was easy for me to call and check in, just to hear his voice…and then that too became weak and silent, yet i knew how he was.
i felt a wee bit selfish asking friends to join in at the cheap night movie (moonrise kingdom), in part because i had actually seen the flick 4 nights before…and what fun is that, sharing a movie so quick on the flip turn. yet the first viewing reminded me of the subtle nuisances of imagery that i get from reading (the invited) friends’ writing…..
and, i just wanted to hear her little brown eyed girl coveted coy laugh. “it” along with when she says, “right?” are two of the tinniest indicators that at that moment she is ok, and here now, and not in some big science lab tumbling along the capital “C” cancer therapy way.
the coveted laugh was heard & her tired self was seen, & i feel the inner “fuck you cancer, you are not going to get the best of me” is strong within her (even with the unknown wall therapy & time in front of her).
TRUTH: blenders & cameras are the two possessions i shop for more regularly than underwear. if you think with a camera & use a blender daily…the likelihood of replacement is nudged a bit higher.
truth: i see the world. whenever i am working in my head, (and i suppose others simply refer to that as thinking), the more i can see what i am thinking, the better, if you will, the thought/end results comes to fruition.
plenty of projects around my home & within my lifetime have had the “VOILA” moment when all the stray mental images tumble into place. Possibly i’ll post a picture or two of some of these finished thoughts…yet not quite yet…
seems i have once again done in a camera…actually misplaced it. 2nd one in two years, followed by the string of two that dropped into watersheds while xxing with sweet visiting nieces.
i’m not a careless individual. i actually (last time i use the word in this post) keep track of my stuff pretty damn well + hughs’+devins’+iris’= full time tracker. Yet “lil red” as she was known is up and missing. misplaced.
sometimes i can slow down enough to recall the last time it was used…i can “see” it in my minds eye. i keep feeling a general area where that was in the house, yet like a witches brew i sense some other has played into its whereabouts, and they are unaware of such.
i’ve thought of “lil red” on these hot summer days…just wanting some indoor relief time. i’ve thought of some projects that are hard for me to get a grasp of as i cannot take a picture of that which i am passing by that stimulates the thought. i’ve thought, “get with it, just use the damn phone and snap away”, yet i’m old fashion and though i am a cell phone picture take~er, i like the idea of holding my images all in the same spot called a camera.
i’m starting to make a decision, i’m imagining that the images around me will come into view soon.
my tangetical life really is the only one i know. i’ve tried to make sense in many a comparison, yet just the freeing feeling of riding my bike home from work brought the tangent that resonates the feeling of announced change. where i have worked for ~~essentially a 1/3 rd of my life is, is, …
it ISN’T just where i work it is where i have found answers and defined much of who i am now. these 13 years are similar to the 13, 12 & 18 years that have been lived at other jobs (all overlapping with each other at times).
the remembrance of managing a peach orchard is pulsating strong in me right now. the tom sawyer type description of having lunch atop an orchard ladder; becoming one with the world around me. the hmong woman farmer to the south, the hawks circling o’er head, and the corn snake sunny slithering itself from 1 end of the acre to the other. all these observations i felt like no other, while taking a moment atop a ladder…not necessarily while luxuriously having lunch.
pruning i came to learn was not just in trees but was branching throughout our lives, the necessity to prune and clip away our excess. even when i’m feeling peacock proud with regards to some smug clip short step i’ve created… my feathers stand to fan brilliant as i see there is always more and never a completeness.
pruning is innate. mother nature in her survival of the fittest is the designer of pruning. making the whole more strong and filled with vitality, even when the whole thought it was brilliantly shining,we have more to our spectrum then we have ever seen.
so today when sweet friends, mentors and my employers brought the red tavern staff together to tell us they have sold the restaurant, i could feel the pruning process running through me. natural change with a ripple of changes to come.
meditative, slowing down & clearing of debris is what sweeping does for me. little whisk broom or big heavy bristled push brooms both have the same affect of allowing my mind to drift. even if i am being analytical while i am moving across a floor with thoughts pigeon holing into place, those thoughts somehow have an ease of finding a fit, a place that is their correct puzzle fitting niche.
how sweet and tender to my heart & soul when oh so familiar words sang out as a first dance @ a wedding i attended. words, that i knew yet had never actually shared with other people…they floated in my head, under my headphones @ a radio station, while i metamorphic-ally cleaned, and voila i turned to see the in a whole new lightness of being this couple, dancing to “my song”.
Well you send my life a whirling
darling when you’re twirling
on the floor
Who cares about tomorrow
What more is tomorrow
than another day
When you swept me away
Yeah you swept me away….
the two of them have that spell with me, sweeping me away….
woven. we are all woven together, keeping us feeling linus blanket secure and loved like the rubbed satin from a child’s blanket. i don’t necessarily assess my life and think, ” enough, no more, thank you, but no thank you…all filled up with specialness in my life”. yet there are times when i have a quiet moment to myself and i realize some of the threads that have woven about me are especially comforting. and with just a wee bit of time (1 + year) these threads of little people are my friends, we are actually friends & sharing stories, awaiting the next time we see each other.
Ginger and her farmers’ market dragon fly…in a radio station…on a hot day…hard to keep track of one lil blue iridescent winged being, yet not true if you see the magic in it staying on your finger…travelling with you a whole 3 blocks by 2 blocks & withstanding an elevator ride. Magic! Best winged friend! Need to keep track of such an entity.
sir Cedric and is full sweet 3 yr old lips parting the grammar and vocabulary of a sophomoric teen know it all….standing atop the 6 ft ladder (okay 1 rung from the top) and capturing a new view of his world: proclaiming “i see truffla trees!” and he does. we sit in the porch swing together, he now reads the books to me…and reads the lorax pointing at the colorfilled trees in the book and the ones seen along the roof of his house and proclaims…”See, See, those are the same truffla trees laurie!”
these two are woven in my timeline. i wonder how our lives will change when their is a realization that i am older than them…similar to their parents….and then i let that silly stray thread of a thought that doesn’t belong, fall to the ground, and i wonder not about that future, but instead the future of relocated dragon flies and truffla trees.
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